Why giants fall

Do you agree that it is ungratifying; working so hard, earning fame and wealth only to lose everything to a character flaw? In every kid is a king and a kid in every king. News reports are rife with the stories of many great achievers who have lost track with progress and slipped as a result of their Achilles’ heel.

An Achilles’ heel is a vulnerable point, most especially a weak part of someone’s character in spite of overall strength, which may actually or potentially lead to the person’s downfall.

Having its source from Greek mythology, this expression originated from the downfall of Achilles, one of the greatest warriors who ever lived. As a baby, it had been foretold that he would die in war from an arrow in the foot. To avoid this, Achilles’ mother, Thetis, dipped his body in River Styx, which gives the power of invincibility. His heel was not washed over by the magical river as his mum held him by the heel. Achilles was later killed by Paris’ arrow shot into his right heel, the only vulnerable spot on his body. Big men die from little things.

Everybody has at least a character blight that works like a time bomb. If unchecked and allowed to fester like an infested wound, it has the potential to blow up one’s reputation, integrity, self esteem, goodwill, growth, opportunities and valued relationships. Your value system must never be compromised in your quest for significance.

Achilles’ heel can take any form: power, fear, anger, sex, crime, vanity, addictions, money, greed, impatience, indifference, music, speech, food, clothes, strange opinions, pride, manipulation… the list is as diverse as human faces.

From the foregoing, these traits can be summarised as thoughts, attitudes, habits and addictions - what I call the 4 steps of character formation. An ancient proverb says, “Sow a thought, reap an action (attitude). Sow an action, reap a habit. Sow a habit; reap a character (addiction). Sow a character; reap a life (Emphasis and parenthesis mine). This is the simple linear process of character formation. Reverse the process to un-form a bad character trait in your life.

• In the next blog post, we’ll be examining these 4 steps with some case studies.

Why people fail 5

Only a fool describes success as material acquisition. There’s never a goal without a goal post, therefore, success is the accomplishment of set goals.

If you meet your monthly sales target for instance, then you’ve succeeded for that period. If you set a goal of shedding 10kg over a period of time or you overcome a bad habit like philandering or dishonesty or you break an addiction like smoking- you’ve succeeded. Success is reality meeting vision.

Success has rewards, which may differ in form- fulfillment, money, cars, real estate, treasures, friends, promotion, merriment, power or happiness. Never confuse the reward for success with the definition of success. Success is creating a path where none ever existed. It is leveraging on one’s faith, courage and action to create a better experience. It’s the fight for control.

People fail doing the wrong things- Which is better: to dig a borehole in a desert or on fertile ground? Don’t be an expert in damage control. The sun dominates the day as the moon controls the night. Redirect your energy towards your strengths, not your weaknesses. What do you do so well like a hobby that you won’t mind not being paid to do? What do people hail you for? What are your talents, skills or passion?

Leverage on these strengths, your ingenuity will manifest and you’ll flourish.

Can you picture David Beckham doing your refuse bin or Tu Face as a university lecturer or Mike Adenuga as a soccer star? Dagrin struck fame rapping his hilarious lyrics in his mother tongue, having identified English language as his deficiency.

Relocate to your natural habitat and make an eternal difference. Pitch your tent where you’ll be appreciated and not tolerated. Fishes survive in water only; they have no destiny in the jungle.

Stress, frustration, disappointment, regrets, unhappiness and of course, failure- are usually the indicators that one is operating in a wrong environment, doing the wrong things to make ends meet. Are you experiencing any of these? Frankly re-assess yourself or seek honest counsel from achievers who have been able to break free from this web of confusion and oblivion. There is more to you than meets the eye.

Sound fulfillment and joy are benefited from doing the things that you love to do- regardless of the value of the reward derivable from them. Many people are wasting away in banks, telecom & oil firms merely pushing the buttons and waiting for the next pay cheque because they are unready to assert their individuality, develop their potentials & stretch their faith.

Set a terminal date for a job that will take you nowhere into your dreams, plot your tracks into your utopia and become the king/queen that you really are.

Why people fail 4

Success has many children. If you succeed, you succeed for all; if you fail, you fail for yourself. No one wants to associate with a stigma like failure for failure is no man’s business.

Time has a way of stratifying ex-classmates depending on how they’ve utilized their talents, potentials, energy, environment and time itself. Have you never been puzzled seeing failures who boast that certain famous people were once their classmates or childhood friends? If life were to bestow success on everyone, no one would ever have bothered to work or to have dreams.

Life does not give desire, but it rewards smart work. Beneath the edifice of success is always work. If you tag it hard work, smart work, or action, you won’t be wrong. This suggests that the actions that you invest in every 24hours will determine if you’ll be regarded as a success or a failure. Is TIME a friend or an enemy? Is time a productive resource for you? Are you getting sufficient mileage and leverage with time? If you’ll ever become the success that you are, you’ll always wish each day were 30hours.

People fail for their disrespect of TIME. Interestingly it is the ONLY capital God has given everyone equally: young or old, rich or poor, man or woman, Negroid or Caucasian. With this resource, you can choose to write, rewrite or obliterate your history. Each tick of the clock is a step into an opportunity to make a decision, chart a new course, sign a cheque, apply for a job, make a proposal, say no, say yes, start a business, help someone, push a button, trigger the domino effect or sit aloof in inertia. Whether or not you ride on the wings of time, time passes by- like a river.

We must push back the misuse of time by reducing man-hours wasted in mindless traffic, useless gossips, baseless cyber perambulations and in wasteful parties. Educate yourself in your spare time- read a book/newspaper, acquire/develop a skill, travel to a new place, develop relationships, know God, study nature or learn something new. Time is cash, time is who you’ll become.

People also fail for wishful thinking. Manna has only fallen from heaven for a season, don’t expect that your life’s desires will manifest without a kick-start. Don’t wish that Mr. Right will knock on your door on a bright Saturday morning. Quit dreaming that $1m will drop into your account without any effort. Perish fairy tale imaginations.

Every moving object is empowered by a force. Translate your vision to action by moving mountains. “Success” comes before “work” only in dictionaries. Only a well is built from the top. Get your hands dirty and build from the ground up. Get started, keep your focus, endure the heat, endure till your light dawns, celebrate and repeat the success.

N1m is N1 in one million units. N1m minus N1 is less than a million naira. Every effort or trial counts. Never give up at the 1^st trial, not even the 2^nd or 3^rd. Failing at the 1^st trial is an indication that you’re getting it wrong, learn your lessons. Each effort gives you an idea about what makes for failure and invariably, success. You increase your success rate by your failure rate. The joy of one success story kills two failure stories. Why are you afraid to fall? Get back on your feet when you fall. The man who has fallen while trying is far more experienced than the fellow who has folded his hands to fate. Get past the crippling emotion that comes with failure. You have the capacity to succeed as big as you desire because God designed you to be the success that you are. Succeed!

Pix credit: Microsoft images

Why people fail 3

Failure happens when people fail to do what successful people do, do them for the wrong reasons, use a wrong method, or at the wrong time. They may not necessarily fail because of their inaction but wrong action. All your decisions are products of your thoughts, which are conditioned by your beliefs. Your beliefs stem from your environment, personality, interests, knowledge and culture. Why are beliefs so important? Because they control all your actions and positive belief is the root of success. You’re the product of your thoughts.

Why do people fail?

• The Plan to Fail- This must be an error! Do people actually plan to fail? Certainly, when they fail to plan. Failure progresses when you have a bright dream but you fail to create an action plan- steps to execute that will create the dream. The success of any project is as good as the plan. If you must make N50, 000 a month as a fashion designer, how many clothes will you make & sell that will deliver that turnover? How do you intend to sell? That’s a plan in the making. If you desire to become a famous musician, how often do you need to pen lyrics, rehearse and watch your competitors’ performances? What daily discipline regime do you need to subject yourself to? What are you willing to give up to get up?

Success is a mirage where there’s no plan. Don’t create vague goals; they must be achievable, believable and concrete. Your dream is not flying because you’ve not given it wings. Set exciting, time-bound goals and strictly adhere to them. Give them a shot and steadily but surely, you’ll fly with eagles.

• Lack of initiative- People who lack initiative wait for the perfect moment before they act. They over-magnify fear, obstacles, disappointments and lack. If life were to be taken as it is, no one will lift a finger, no development will happen; the 33 trapped Chile miners will all be dead. Our planet is advancing because some people are taking the initiative to fill in the gaps. Success doesn’t just happen, it is initiated. Work at what you believe in, damn the consequences. New creations were all initially despised and condemned by people who were myopic. Take steps into your long-range vision. Take steps to right the wrongs that make your heart bleed. Take steps in spite of your fear. The fear and the problems will take care of themselves as you take steps and cripple inertia. If you’re waiting for someone’s prodding, you lack initiative. Step to the top.

• Indiscipline- This is the reason successful people fail. Tu Face is a victim of sex scandals. Cecilia Ibru is jailed for financial recklessness. Idris Abdulkareem is reputed for public brawls. Majek Fashek does drugs. Need I say more? You know their stories. Private victory precedes public victory and the greatest victory you will win is victory over yourself. Lack of self control will, in a day; destroy the success it cost you hardworking years to build. Power is a sugar-coated poison. Be careful not to get bloated, pride always comes before a fall. He that is down needs fear no fall. The higher you climb the ladder of success, the more precaution is necessary because the more devastating your fall will be; if you fall. Childish people do everything their minds suggest, mature people exercise restraint. Are you a child in adult’s clothing? British novelist, Iris Murdoch says, “Freedom...is not an inconsequential chucking of one's weight about, it is the disciplined overcoming of self.”

The race for success is lifelong. There is no permanent success; you must keep replicating the event to stay on top. If you fail, learn your lessons, get back up, refuel and refire. It takes a little more insight, strategy and passion (guts) to do much work.

To be continued…

Why people fail 2

Last week, we discussed despair and fear as being 2 of the reasons why people fail. In this edition, we shall be looking at some other reasons:

• Myopia- Myopic people see only the present, oblivious of the future. They see only the surface, ignorant of unseen depths. Short-sightedness will lead you to making hasty generalisations, shoddy decisions and shallow thinking. It’s the source of character flaws, social vices, leadership quagmire, failure and loss of opportunities. “Opportunities are regularly knocking on your door, sometimes so slowly you attribute it to something else, sometimes so silently the noise of your fears and worries clutters it.” (Deolu Akinyemi) Martha Stewart is convinced that, “Without an open-minded mind, you can never be a great success.” See beyond your own limited comfort zone. Enlarge your circumference of experience by reading the interviews, articles and books written on your role models. Get the keys into successful people’s world and soon you’ll be celebrated.
• Hesitancy- The failure to decide what to do, when to do it, where to do it or how to get it done is a major setback for success. Indecision is like a tossed coin, which keeps spinning, not choosing whether to stay head or tail. Opportunities have a lifespan. Passing Over Opportunities Repeatedly leads not only to poverty, but to failure. One common trait with all failure stories is indecision or the inability to stick to a decision. Weight your options, make a choice and be passionate enough to hold firmly to your decision. Don’t become a victim of hesitancy, standing at the crossroads of life wondering what to make out of it.
• Ignorance- I’d always waited for the wow moment when my 10-month old daughter, Rike, would shout “Daddy” for the 1^st time. Unknown to me, she had said it many times before that I failed to realise it because I didn’t get it in the form that I’d expected it. A few days ago, to my amazement, she muttered, “Tatty” that it took my wife’s observation to realise it. Many times, the ignorance of the opportunities in your environment shuts you out from the doors of utopia. When you look but you don’t see and you hear but you don’t listen, information is not transferred, knowledge is not gained and opportunities are not seized. Develop the skill to critically interpret the information at your disposal. Technology has aided the increase of information, leading to information clutter. Emails, BB, FB, Twitter, TV, radio, CD, iPod, pocket PC seem to be slipping us further into ignorance. We have access to more and more information that we interpret only on surface level. I think we should have less and less of these but meditate more and more on the little we choose to focus on. See more, listen more and achieve more.

Also, be ready to learn from anybody. Descend from your lofty height; learn from those who are ahead of your game- even if they are younger than you. Age, self esteem, education, achievements and culture are limiting people from their next level of success. Will you be next?

To be continued…

Pix: Microsoft images

Why people fail

Failure is not just an event but a process initiated long before it happens. Mediocrity limits one’s efforts at attaining progress in any endeavour because it is rooted in one’s belief system. Be robust in your quality of thoughts.

• Despair- Perseverance is one of the keys to unlock the doors of success. Decide never to chicken out in the quest to find your treasure. Value is scarce. If you must find diamonds, keep digging, keep sweating, and keep making progress till you unearth them. Many people, in their quest to make progress; meet brick walls, make a detour and change their goals. They encounter problems on the way again and change their dreams once more. Quit changing your dreams, draw wisdom to overcome your problems, overcome and achieve your goals. Create a dream wall, displaying the pictures of your objects of desire. Post pictures of your dream future, home, career, car and look at them daily. Inflame your desire.

• Fear- Have faith in your ability to achieve your goals. Every action begins from your mind- success and failure inclusive. Fear is potent enough to cripple your desires, abilities and initiative to win. It has the ability to frustrate the greatest of strategies. The fear of failure cripples bright potentials. Louis Boone says, “Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains 3 descriptions: could have, might have and should have.”

Admit your fear, look it in the face and act in spite of it. Find reasons to believe in the image in your mirror and the infinite power of God. No one who has achieved anything significant did so, limited by fear. Let fear be your friend, knowing full well that it makes false evidence appear real. It’s a fluke.

To be continued...

Becoming You.

Be the person that God destined you to be. Look beyond your nose and see the big picture. Don’t die like a chicken- scratching the soil for every tiny morsel of bread. Your life is much more than your job, big car, tastefully furnished apartment or even your current adversity. To focus on these things is to limit the essence of your existence; you’re more than meets the eye.

Possession begins with being. Robert Kiyosaki submits: Be. Do. Have. You must become the person you envision, act it, before you possess your dreams.

Living inside you is mass potential; you’re a plantation buried in a seed. You’re blessed with talent(s) that can positively change destinies and transform society. You’re a potential definition of positive influence. While you live, that which dies inside you must be awakened! You’ve never realised your potential because you’ve been defining yourself according to your past, your present and your environment.

Critics have despised you and your talent. Bolt out of that limitation and become the next success story. You are the architect of your life – you can’t afford to wait for “things” to happen to you, make them happen by planting the seeds that will generate the equivalent harvest! To get a job, apply; to become a business owner, get a winning idea; to find happiness, make others happy.

You were not programmed for regret or setbacks, they’re wedges to stop you from the greatness that lies within and waits ahead. For how long will you allow yesterday’s memories to hold you back? Wake up, believe in yourself and trust God to make your dreams come true. Live supernaturally.

There’s hope for you. Choose to believe. Search till you find your way through life’s maze and find your utopia, your destiny. One of life’s tragedies is to come, to see but not to conquer. Conquer you, conquer the world!

Reversing a wrong decision

Let’s face it: we all make bad decisions once in a while. It takes a dose of courage, meekness and maturity to own up to having committed an error of judgment and undoing it. Every life, great or small, is a product of decisions.

My cousin who was studying architecture in the university suddenly discovered that his passion really was for law practice. His response? He took another exam, went back to the university and got a law degree. Today he runs his own chambers and he is fulfilled.

On a more serious level, a friend, Bola, called off her wedding one month to the event because of her fiancé’s overly selfish and over-possessiveness. She figured that signing the dotted lines with him might just translate to signing up for a lifetime of misery.

How do I fix myself when I find myself in a fix?

• Accept your error: Find out where, when and how you bungled it. Own up to your errors, never pass the buck. Blaming parents, the past, the economy or supernatural forces for your setback is irresponsible.

• Retrace your steps: If you find yourself in a pit, stop digging. That’s maturity. Get back on track if you discover you’ve missed the road. It does not matter how long you’ve stayed in the wrong, turn back and do what’s right. Shut your ears to side talks by critics. Right or wrong, they’d talk anyway.

• Shun sentiments: Last September a policeman deployed to the bank opposite my office was involved in an accident and has since been in coma. He was on vacation when his boss recalled him, saying no other officer could fill in for him. This dutiful policeman was knocked down by an okada the same day he was forced to resume work. But hasn’t anyone replaced him for the last 6 months that he has been in coma?

Quit living to please others. Be bold enough to assert yourself and yield to your intuition and the voice of wisdom within.

Pix source: investmentreality.blogspot.com

Go M.A.D!

Go M.A.D!

Making life decisions could be as tough as being at a crossroads, hemmed in by a cacophony of voices and not knowing where to turn. These are times when your sense of judgment is put to question and putting things in the proper perspective really becomes arduous.
This is when you need to really go Make A Decision, go M.A.D. Indecision is not an option

1. Overcome your web of confusion- usually you find it difficult making a decision because you’re confused about the options before you. You’re at a crossroads on if to get married, get a 2nd degree or travel abroad. Right? Simply prioritize. Choose the important option over the urgent.

2. Keep your goal in view- what do you really set to achieve by the decision? Self development? Then, go for 2nd degree. Adventure? Fly away. Decide your goal and make your choice. Success is immeasurable without a goal. Imagine your soccer team playing without a goalpost. Insanity!

3. Treat each factor of option individually- if your goal is to buy a shirt, don’t confuse colour options with designer options. Do you really want just any shirt or you want a red shirt or you desire a red shirt tailored by a notable designer or you just want a designer? These factors are means to an end.

4. Don’t rush, don’t fret, keep your composure- don’t make a decision when you’re hungry or desperate. Hungry people eat anything. Desperate people make desperate decisions. Be objective, sentiments produce frustrating results.

5. Make informed decision- listen to your strong voice of intuition. Perception. Seek expert advice. Or discuss with someone who has a high sense of judgment.

Bad decisions and failure are Siamese twins. The effect of a wrong attitude or a wrong career may stick on you forever.
Running on the right track could be Herculean. Receive faith and not failure, conviction and not confusion. With the insight to choose to walk to the right. Don’t get confused, go M.A.D!


Photo: http://www.baqmar.be/?cat=28

Dealing with rejection

Dealing with rejection

Perhaps it’s a job loss, a failed interview, a failed exam or an unapproved contract; you’ve certainly faced rejection before: a point in time when you couldn’t get beyond the threshold. Right. That’s rejection.

Never allow the sting of rejection to stop you from trying again.

Not even a debased self esteem.

Quit thinking that life’s best is only for a select few.

Depression is not an alternative either. It makes you unable to think your way out of your ashes. Yes. You’ve got to map your way out of your hairy problems. Alan M. Webber notes, “The cost of the status quo is greater than the risk of change.” Don’t even have beef for those who have rejected you.

Slow and steady wins the race, you’ve also got to be consistent and not chicken out!

Accept rejection as a path to success. Act on your dreams now, rewrite history without a pen. Without money as a factor, what would you love to die doing? Get another strategy. Do it better.


Photo: gamespot.com

Dealing with a loss

You may have lost anything to the recession- a job, an opportunity, an investment, a loved one or all hope.

Dealing with a loss is difficult, but it is important to bounce back stronger. Be like the elastic band that keeps stretching beyond its limits; resilient in the storm. You have in you what it takes to overcome every difficulty. Discover new ways to solve your problems by pushing the walls of your mind. Insanity is trying to solve a problem the same way, expecting different results. See through the fog of confusion in you.

You may have been fired but get fired up! Don’t lose your dignity to a past event. Take the front seat and stage a comeback. Rise from your ashes. Pray to GOD. Fight depression.

“What looks like a loss may be the very event which is subsequently responsible
for helping to produce the major achievement of your life." – Srully D. Blotnick.

Unearth the diamonds within you. You may never have realized them as such because you’ve been so familiar with them, little wonder you trample over them. A tragedy of life is being ignorant of one’s most precious treasures.

There’s hope for a tree that’s cut down, it’ll sprout again at the scent of water. Make hay while the sun shines. Strike while the iron is hot.


Photo: Google images