Why giants fall 3

“Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self control.” (The Book of Proverbs)

You are not a saint but you can strive to improve character. The vulnerability of the human nature provides us the capacity to falter but this must never be the excuse to indulge in self destructive thoughts, habits, attitudes or addictions. Seek help to overcome crippling traits that may short-change your destiny.

Many people suffer in silence as a result of their Achilles heels; some others short-change themselves in the belief that change is impossible. Thomas Monson says, “Our very business in life is not to get ahead of others…but to get ahead of ourselves.” Take precaution before your weak point subdues you. No life grows truly great till it is disciplined. What is the way forward?

1. Accept responsibility– Change becomes elusive when the responsibility for it is transferred to another party. Accept your weakness as such and refrain from passing the buck, take responsibility for your life. Realise that other people like you have successfully managed this trait that has caused you nightmares. Everyone carries the burden of one Achilles heels or the other but with a sincerity of heart and the singleness of purpose, one can gradually and inevitably prevail over it.

Accept that you can change or improve your life. I was counseling a lady recently who believed that change was not possible from a particular age range in one’s life. This is untrue. You will move the boulders in your life once you decide to confront them: never complain about what you permit. Never blame your sexual laxity on your family weakness or your itchy fingers on bad economy.

2. Personal discipline – “You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one” opines James A. Froude. Set exit strategy goals for yourself. If you have power problem, learn to see others better than yourself. If it’s sexual, discipline your thoughts – avoid fantasies, avoid living alone, avoid pornography like AIDS, shun the promotion of nudity in the media and don’t nurture a relationship for which you don’t have sincere intentions. To overcome addiction, avoid the object of control. John Maxwell suggests that self discipline is “the ability to do what is right even when you don’t feel like doing it.”

3. Build character- A strong character would protect your potential, sustain you in trying times and make you consistent in excellence. Until you master yourself, you may never master your game. Push the limits of your success by investing in your character- your ability to do what is right, your values and your self image. John Maxwell asserts, “The lives of people who are long on talent but short on character always get out of balance.”

4. Seek help– Confide in someone who can help. Seek counseling from social workers, church counselors or professionals (psychiatrists, psychologists, health workers etc.). The media can also be helpful. Try a programme like Sharing Life Issues with Chaz B on Inspiration 92.3 FM or online fora with positive objectives, Question and Answer newspaper columns (Billionaires’ Capsules with Ayo Arowolo, Sex & Sexuality with Funmi Akingbode, Dear Kemi –all in Punch newspapers) also seek divine intervention.

Your thoughts, attitudes, habits and addictions are the 4 steps of character formation. When you sow a thought, you reap an action (attitude). The fruit of an action is a habit. A habit is the seed of a character (addiction). When you sow a character, you reap a life. To un-form a bad character trait, reverse this simple linear process of character formation.

Why giants fall 2

It has been established that your Achilles’ heels has the potential to act as your stumbling stone in future, if un-checked and nipped in the bud. Usually, people don’t trip over large rocks but little stones which are almost invisible. Negligible bad habits and attitudes, little foxes that spoil the vine reduce great men to rubble.

We all possess thoughts, attitudes, habits or addictions that we hold dear. Some are not negative but, either way, thay all have the capacity to shape our lives positively or otherwise.

Imagine someone who loves to read books on any subject from literature or romance to accounting. If he stumbles on metaphysics and it distorts his mental orientation, this would be a good habit (reading) gone bad. This happened to my cousin some years ago. She read a book that deranged her mentally, making her a psychiatric patient for the next 3 to 4 years. You must be cautious to prevent your good habits from going overboard.

Let’s examine the 4 steps of character formation.

1.       Thoughts- Every man’s life is only as great as the quality of his thoughts. Your thoughts influence your self esteem, which in turn determines your life results. “Sow a thought, reap an action…” says an ancient proverb. Your progress is limited by the length and breadth of your foresight and hindsight. The Japanese say, “Good thinking, good product.” I have since discovered that almost every lingering life issue is a wisdom problem- the inability to connect to the right solution.

The celebrated footballer who scored Nigeria’s 1^st goal at the world cup, Rashidi Yekini, is reported to now be a shadow of his former self. He now lives as a recluse, having separated from his wife and friends. It is also being publised that he’s mentally depressed. When interviewed by a journalist about his dwindling career many years ago, he attributed this to his wife’s diabolical powers. A great star of his calibre limited his progress to diabolism- every man is a slave to his beliefs.

Many Africans still short-change themselves, believing that someone is responsible for their woes. Believe instead in God’s liberating power to break barriers and fight for your victory. Think through; pray through and set yourself free from mental, spiritual and physical hindrances. You’re your greatest enemy and your greatest barrier is your mind.

2.       Attitudes- In 1996, Nigerians were excited about a new revelation- Dosu Joseph, the goalkeeper of the Dream Team to the Atlanta Olympics. His accurate saves were partly instrumental to the winning of the gold medal and his fans were already looking forward to his bright future in the game. But one bad night a year later, his promising career ground to a halt! He was reported to have partied and drank alcohol so bad that he had a ghastly auto accident. He had a severe spinal-cord injury that abruptly red-carded him out of the game at age 23. Youthful exuberance has destroyed the potential of many promising talents.

Recently, I heard the story of a young promising lady who was withdrawn from a music reality show. She had posed nude (perhaps for her boyfriend) and the pictures had found their way into the wrong hands, which were ready to blackmail her and the organisers of the show. It’s sad how we allow moments of vain fun to cut short our promising future.

3.       Habits- “Sow an action, reap a habit…” says an ancient proverb.

Three years ago, the image of nollywood actress, Yetunde Taiwo Akinwande (aka Wunmi) was tarnished when she was convicted for drug trafficking. She had been arrested at the Lagos airport, having swallowed 12kg of cocaine concealed in 92 wraps. 6 months later, another nollywood star, James Oduputa was arrested for a similar crime. Subsequently another actor almost died of complications arising from cocaine, which had burst in his stomach while trafficking the drug. Live above the bad habits of your profession.

4.       Addictions- Tiger Woods lost millions of dollars, his reputation and influence to an adultery scandal. He had been world’s best golfer for about a decade, making $23m from golf and $105m in brand endorsements for Accenture, Gillette & Nike. In his 13 year career, he earned $900m alone in prize money. All these have diminished as Tiger has been weighed down by emotional setbacks and has since struggled to return to top form.

An Achilles’ heel not only hurts your pocket or reputation, it hurts those who feed at your table and the whole world. Your potent

ials get you up the ladder of success but strength of character keeps you on top. Character influences your choices, builds your potentials and makes you different; it helps you outlive your time. Good character is really not a choice.

Rule your world

I have discovered a new and exciting way to attract the things you desire.

Instead of hunger, think food. In place of war, think peace. For sickness, think health. Don’t think lack, think prosperity- see abundance all around you. You produce the equivalent of your thoughts in the things you produce because your life is a physical manifestation of your thoughts. Is it not true?

To a large extent, what happens in the mind is what determines the outcome. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it proceeds the issues of life (Proverbs).

You give your time and energy to the things you don’t want if you inundate your mind with them. So, think right, right? You don’t live on what you eat, but only what you digest. Thoughts have a voice. Thoughts have life. When full-grown, thoughts manifest.

Keep the end in sight. See the stars and visualise how bright your future is. Don’t remain stuck to your past or present. Bolt out of your lethargy and casualness. Overcome inertia by doing something about what you don’t feel like doing.

What’s your personal crusade? Find your voice, find your feet. Think right. Rule your world.

Pix: Via Google images.